53,500

Yo who wants a membership to the Boydstun House of Buff? I realize I might have to pay you to use my gym so do you accept Bitcoin?

Broke the Cardinal Rule

Total Pull-Up Count: 52,500

Fitspo influencers were turning in their graves yesterday when I posted a video of me lifting… in the shade….. apparently in the biz, lighting is everything, and lemme tell ya, they’re on to something. To lose a few pounds, all you have to do is wait till the sun is just right… and BOOM everyone assumes you eat cotton balls for dinner.

Evan Boydstun

Evan Boydstun: 1 Quarantine: 0

Total Pull-Up Count: 52,000

I’m sure if you’ve made it this far, you already know what this post is going to be about. You’re probably pausing and reading this on Instagram (all 3 of you, thank you) which means you saw I put my communications degree in full force and engineered a DIY barbell.
Today started just like everyone else’s day: 500 pull-ups, 500 push-ups, 100 handstand push-ups etc. but after six weeks of neglecting my legs (and refusing to run, seriously cannot wrap my head around how that’s enjoyable??) I realized I’ve had enough. I’m so sick of looking top-heavy and I don’t want to have to wear baggy pants this summer to hide my spongebob legs.

Ain’t she a beauty :,)

The DIY Barbell

Ingredients:

2x50lbs. bags of sand (or go to your local sandbox? I’m not telling you to do anything but..)

1 galvanized steel pipe: 1 inch diameter, 5 feet long. (Also galvanized is such a dope word)

Duct Tape: the whole roll

8x1 Gallon of Arrowhead water (I tried chugging as much as I could before I drained it. Also, there’s nothing wrong with arrowhead, it’s water you swine).

Altogether, I spent about $50.00 on this engineered masterpiece, whereas a barbell alone can cost an arm and both of your legs (so there would be no point in needing one to squat).

Evan Boydstun

Also, might I suggest investing in some natural weight cushions. It costs about a few thousand shrugs but works wonders.

Big Banter Guy Over Here

Total Pull-Up Count: 45,000

There’s nothing more than I miss right now than a good ole’ fashioned roast sesh in the office. There’s nothing better than when a colleague drops an absolute mic drop of an insult that almost hits too close to home, because deep down, I know there’s truth to whatever they’re saying. The sole reason why I started to get in shape was because my little brother called me fat (seriously Troy, thank you so much). It also made me realize that I was fragile, and if I was going to dish it, I had to be able to take it. There’s nothing more motivating than a below-the-belt insult that is 100% true. I get it, not everyone operates like that blah blah blah, but seriously, I just needed to be called “fat” one more time, and that’s what completely re-wired my brain. Accepting feedback is key to growth, even when it’s packaged as a joke at your expense (good god I’ve been reading too much self-help books in quarantine). Start roasting yourself. I’m 5’9” on a good day (with shoes on) and I have an absolutely punchable face. I mean just look at that smirk. Did I use self timer for this? Absolutely. Am I vain? Probably.. but I’ve done 45,000 pull-ups this year. I’ll most likely get melanoma before age 30, and squeak when I walk because of my leathery skin, but look at that tan.

Evan Boydstun

The point of all that is… I really wanted to post this picture. So go ahead, lay your best insult on me… I need the banter.

43K

Good god I can’t wait to get back outside. Notice how this shot doesn’t show my legs. They’re tiny.. and in quarantine, they’re looking more and more like Spongebob’s legs.

Evan Boydstun Spartan Race

Evan Boydstun’s Back Yard Prison Workouts

Total Pull-Up Count: 41,000

Hi, Evan Boydstun here to tell you to just get outside and workout out, idk what else to tell you dude. We literally have nothing else to do.

Evan Boydstun

In the BEGINNING…

Because, why not? This is how I’m starting my blog because my life has been full of “why not?” Such a simple phrase that has lead to some of the most amazing decisions I’ve made throughout my short 25 years in life. The reason for wanting to do 100,000 pull-ups in the calendar year of 2020? Literally no specific reason. I just started thinking about how many pull-ups I’ve done so far this year (2019) and I’m at about 40,000. So why not try to do 100,000?

Before I embark on this journey, I want to share a little back story as to why I am the way that I am. Let’s circle back to 2007. Plain and simple, I was fat. I was taking down a sleeve of Oreo’s and guzzling a Dr. Pepper every single day. The only reason I would stop was when I heard the garage door open when my parents would come home from work, prompting me to hide the evidence. This had been going on for almost a year, starting in 2006 (see below for reference).

Evan Boydstun in his prime.

During this “pivotal” time in my young life, I was being bullied a bit at school. It never really phased me too much at first, but of course it started to take it’s emotional toll. The crux of the matter came to head in February, 2007. My younger brother and I were brushing our teeth in the bathroom we shared, when out of nowhere, he looks down at my shirtless, protruding belly and announced, “Evan, you’re fat.” *Unleash the flood gates*

I cried my eyes out that night. My mom wrapped her arms around me to console me and my dad attempted to show me what fat people “actually” look like by putting a beach ball underneath his shirt, and walking out to greet me - while chowing down on chocolate cake. Hindsight 20/20… it’s absolutely hilarious to look back on this night, but in my fit of rage, I thought my dad was making fun of me and was adding to the insults. There’s no sense of attempting to instill any source of logic in to an emotional, pre-pubescent, middle school child.

However, that night fundamentally rewired my brain in such a positive way, I cant stress enough how thankful I am to have been “fat shamed.” While I was laying in bed still sniveling, I started thinking about WHY people were making fun of my weight. I identified that it was inherently MY fault why I was chubby and starting thinking about all of the factors that have led to this moment. No more feeling sorry for myself. I realized “If I don’t want to be fat… then I don’t have to…” I made the decision to literally and figuratively “trim the fat.” No more soda (haven’t had a full soda since that night - chaser is different) no more burgers and fries (I was slamming 2 burgers a day sometimes) and no more candy (I currently have a terrible sweet tooth but I earn my carbs).

At Midnight, I jumped out of my bed, flipped on my lights, and did sit-ups till 3:00am. I’m not going to lie, that’s pretty damn impressive for a 12 year old, but it goes to show how important having control of your mind is to reach these goals. As I progressed in my fitness journey, I received a weight set for my 13th birthday at the very end of 7th grade. All summer long, I focused on my eating habits and developing baby muscles. I dropped from being a meatball at 135lbs down to 110lbs. “But that was just baby fat” yeah yeah shut up… I’ve heard it all, this is my story, not yours and my breaking point is without a doubt the most important thing to ever happen to me. I was a dumb 12 year old and made the conscious decision to get my life in order. I use that mindset STILL when I have a new goal in life. If I could do it back then, I can do it now.

Thanks,

Evan Boydstun