95K

So close. And my fingers hurt so damn bad. Am I gripping the pull-up bar too tight out of sheer anger at myself for coming up with such a stupid yet audacious goal? I hate how when I commit to something, I have to go through with it (sounds like a “so what’s your greatest weakness?” interview answer). Anyways, I was going through some pictures and saw I had a vain back picture from December 13th 2019.

Evan Boydstun

A few things to note in this 7.5 month difference:

1. I’m perma-tan with WFH.

2. I haven’t gotten a haircut since February.

3. I wear a gold chain, thank you Jaxxon.

4. I eat a rotisserie chicken every day instead of 15 chicken wings.

5. And self timer is still my best friend apparently.

Don’t Ever Get Old

TOTAL PULL-UP COUNT: 68,000
Today I turned 26, I woke up with arthritis, and I had to sign up for health insurance. Don’t ever get old. Just don’t do it. Just kidding. I’m actually in the best goddamn shape of my life and keep getting younger and younger. Like I have the flow I used to have back in high school!

Evan Boydstun

65,500

Big fan of the lighting in my parent’s garage. Also, god bless my father for getting sick of the meat heads at big box gyms and building his own home gym. It’s working wonders right now.

Evan Boydstun

65,000

Made it down to Palm Springs for a WFH vacation. Our Golden and Husky had pups about 48 hours ago and they’re the cutest things ever! Also, my dad built a gym in our garage a few years ago and oh my god I missed squatting and benching heavy.

Evan Boydstun

Running Is Easy.

Total Pull-Up Count: 62,000

Alright. Running is a joke. I ran a 5K today with ZERO training, and just straight willpower. Just a tad below 25 minutes. This is the longest I’ve ever ran, and I’m a meatball with tiny legs, and size 12 clown shoes. If I can do this sport with ease, I’d love for a runner to put up a decent squat, at least bench their weight (which wouldn’t be too much, Ive seen how sickly some of you runners look), or just do literally ANYTHING physically taxing.

Evan Boydstun’s 5K time.

Okay I know what some of you will say.. “I mean that’s just an average time… blah blah” yeah but I haven’t been training the past decade and realistically I didn’t know what I was doing and just jammin out to some Expendables. I know I can get a competitive time with just willpower once again but goddamn this sport is boring.

53,500

Yo who wants a membership to the Boydstun House of Buff? I realize I might have to pay you to use my gym so do you accept Bitcoin?

Broke the Cardinal Rule

Total Pull-Up Count: 52,500

Fitspo influencers were turning in their graves yesterday when I posted a video of me lifting… in the shade….. apparently in the biz, lighting is everything, and lemme tell ya, they’re on to something. To lose a few pounds, all you have to do is wait till the sun is just right… and BOOM everyone assumes you eat cotton balls for dinner.

Evan Boydstun

Evan Boydstun: 1 Quarantine: 0

Total Pull-Up Count: 52,000

I’m sure if you’ve made it this far, you already know what this post is going to be about. You’re probably pausing and reading this on Instagram (all 3 of you, thank you) which means you saw I put my communications degree in full force and engineered a DIY barbell.
Today started just like everyone else’s day: 500 pull-ups, 500 push-ups, 100 handstand push-ups etc. but after six weeks of neglecting my legs (and refusing to run, seriously cannot wrap my head around how that’s enjoyable??) I realized I’ve had enough. I’m so sick of looking top-heavy and I don’t want to have to wear baggy pants this summer to hide my spongebob legs.

Ain’t she a beauty :,)

The DIY Barbell

Ingredients:

2x50lbs. bags of sand (or go to your local sandbox? I’m not telling you to do anything but..)

1 galvanized steel pipe: 1 inch diameter, 5 feet long. (Also galvanized is such a dope word)

Duct Tape: the whole roll

8x1 Gallon of Arrowhead water (I tried chugging as much as I could before I drained it. Also, there’s nothing wrong with arrowhead, it’s water you swine).

Altogether, I spent about $50.00 on this engineered masterpiece, whereas a barbell alone can cost an arm and both of your legs (so there would be no point in needing one to squat).

Evan Boydstun

Also, might I suggest investing in some natural weight cushions. It costs about a few thousand shrugs but works wonders.

Evan Boydstun - Solutions Oriented.

Total Pull-Up Count: 19,800
Ripped through my pinky as well, no worries, just tape it up and keep going.

Evan Boydstun

Oi! I’ve Got Blistahs On Me Fingahs!

Total Pull-Up Count: 19,000

This thing ruptured on me this past Monday and I think it got a little infected since I was rolling around in mud all Sunday long. Hopefully it heals soon but it seems like it’s not cooperating with my pull-up goal. No worries, I’ll just duct-tape it up for a while and go from there.

At Least Read This One

Total Pull-Up Count: 7,100

Hi, Evan Boydstun here to tell you I was perusing through my camera roll today, observing all of the memes I’ve acquired over the years, when I came across a few progress pictures that I’d like to share. The douchey photo on the left was taken about a year (give or take a month) before the REALLY douchey picture on the right. A few of the biggest differences I’d like to note about the two pictures:

Evan Boydstun

1. I’m significantly more tan this January than last year (very proud of myself).

2. I decided to grow out my hair.

Other than that, the only difference between the left and right photo is about 47,000 pull-ups.