In The Beginning Pt. 2

Total Pull-Up Count: 49,500

One of my very first posts to kick off this extremely successful blog was about my origin story of when I was a little chubster. However, my mom dug up something from the archives while she was quarantine cleaning that needs to be shared: My 5th Grade Science Fair Project (apparently we’re hoarders because why do we still have that preserved?!). Anyways, while most 10-year-olds did projects the night before, chya boi went all the way to district. My experiment was called “Kid Fit” (see below, my writing has looked exactly the same since 5th grade).

IMG_8224.jpeg

Basically, for about 8 weeks, I trained every day with my dad to “see the affect that exercise has on the body” (yeah no shit it’s good for you lol). Below you can see my extremely technical analysis of my results, and would you look at that.. went from ZERO pull-ups to ONE. So truly, this is the beginning. Unfortunately, I got fat the next year via sleeves of Oreos and Dr. Pepper but hey, still pretty neat.

IMG_8223.png

The Healthy Degenerate’s Dilemma

Total Pull-Up Count: 46,000

I need to talk to you all about something very serious. I’m losing weight in this quarantine. I had my routine on lock before quarantine. Every week, I would be the epitome of health and eat so clean Monday-Friday so I could be an absolute piece of poo on the weekends. The thousands of empty calories over the weekend would be the perfect amount to refuel my body and give me something to look forward to on the weekends. Now I’m just shredded with no where to go.

Big Banter Guy Over Here

Total Pull-Up Count: 45,000

There’s nothing more than I miss right now than a good ole’ fashioned roast sesh in the office. There’s nothing better than when a colleague drops an absolute mic drop of an insult that almost hits too close to home, because deep down, I know there’s truth to whatever they’re saying. The sole reason why I started to get in shape was because my little brother called me fat (seriously Troy, thank you so much). It also made me realize that I was fragile, and if I was going to dish it, I had to be able to take it. There’s nothing more motivating than a below-the-belt insult that is 100% true. I get it, not everyone operates like that blah blah blah, but seriously, I just needed to be called “fat” one more time, and that’s what completely re-wired my brain. Accepting feedback is key to growth, even when it’s packaged as a joke at your expense (good god I’ve been reading too much self-help books in quarantine). Start roasting yourself. I’m 5’9” on a good day (with shoes on) and I have an absolutely punchable face. I mean just look at that smirk. Did I use self timer for this? Absolutely. Am I vain? Probably.. but I’ve done 45,000 pull-ups this year. I’ll most likely get melanoma before age 30, and squeak when I walk because of my leathery skin, but look at that tan.

Evan Boydstun

Evan Boydstun

The point of all that is… I really wanted to post this picture. So go ahead, lay your best insult on me… I need the banter.

Lunch Time Lats

Total Pull-Up Count: 42,500

I just looked online at Amazon for some dumbbells and there’s some available for $567.00 + your first born. No worries, thankfully I have a cheap pull-up bar so I haven’t had the chance to make excuses for not completing my challenge this year. The quest for 100,000 continues, even in a global pandemic. Every lunch, I have nothing else to do so I might as well knock out a few hundred pull-ups, right?
I looked back as some past pictures of my back I have some some tumors growing. The legs are lacking since I’m doing upper body every day but that’s okay, I’ll just wear jeans to the beach this year.

Left: November 2018, Right: April 2020

Evan Boydstun

Evan Boydstun

I Need Help.

Total Pull-Up Count: 40,400

Alright, I did a really bad thing today (or I guess this whole week). In the last 6 days, I’ve consumed 3 tubs of peanut butter. Like the tub that’s supposed to feed a small family for a few weeks, or be an emergency food supply during a pandemic. I’ve had a peanut butter problem since ‘Nam (people have given me gifts of copious amounts of peanut butter on multiple occasions) but someone.. anyone… PLEASE hold me accountable, my insides can’t take this anymore. This is a cry for help.

60816126662__22F3C92A-4DDB-432B-AA02-7248437FFF04.jpeg